sunshine type thoughts

sun1Well, although March has refused to disavow its “lion” status (we had quite the wind/hail storm here on Sunday night), it has still been mostly sunny.  And the light has stuck around until almost 6pm each evening.  I haven’t wanted to say too much about it for fear that the rain would hear me and decide it was missed.  Note to rain: it’s been cool how you’ve been showing up at night to keep us company/make cool sounds on the skylights and then going away during the day.  Keep it up.

To take advantage of the fact that our computer area/couch gets almost all of the sunlight, and in an attempt to become at least a little more productive, I’ve been..playing around on the internet.  What? Trust me, as a teacher, I had almost zero “extra” time to spend exploring and thinking about anything other than teaching. I loved my job and my students, but it was hard to get my head above the water enough to look around at what else was going on.

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fun freezing february

winterfebWell, in February I read twenty-three books–a pretty good total considering I spent three days hidden under the duvet unable to read more than a page at a time without my eyes crossing and the world spinning around me. A little over half of the books, fifteen, were re-reads for me.  Not surprising, since my default response to stress or uncertainty is to re-read, and I am still recovering from being separated from my library for six months. I was also lucky enough to get a few books through bookgeeks, all of which were fun.

I found comfort in the series I read, especially.  I am quite good at *hiding* in a book when I am stressed, and a series is an easy way to keep the mood going.  I don’t have to adjust to new characters or settings, and I can carry over the comfort I feel from book to book.  Plus, I’m a big fan of re-reading a book I’ve loved.  Why not enjoy the story and characters again?  It’s one of the issues I have with DRM and ebooks; I’m not sure of their durability, and I’m worried that, whether because of format changes or hardware issues, I will somehow lose some of the books I’ve bought and not be able to read them again. (never mind that my library is already perilously close to the limited number of books the Kindle can hold–that’s a different issue)

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phobias, stressful and often spiky

1cholaNote: I am not afraid of cacti.  These, in particular, look fuzzy and fun–although they live up to their name of “jumping cholla” when you get near enough for their spines to get you.

I am, however, afraid of heights.  And a job-search always brings out a fear or two. So what did I do over these last two days? Went bouldering and then prepared to drop off more resumes and nag more temp agencies for any possible work.

The fear of heights issue is easy to understand.  Who doesn’t worry, at least a little, about falling? Luckily, bouldering keeps you mostly close to the ground, and I got good at only looking staight at the wall during some of the higher runs. The strangest bit was that, although I didn’t like going up, it was the idea of reaching the top and having to go back down (or maybe just looking down?) that caused me to cling desperately to the wall.  I made repeated deals with myself: to reach the third hold, then the fourth, the the fifth.  Eventually, I reached the top of a few of the easier climbs.  It turned out that bouldering was fun.  And a great arm and back work-out. Now, two days later I can barely lift my arms above my head.

The job search, well, it is going slowly.  There is nothing like moving out of your original profession, out of your native county, and into a world wide economic meltdown all at the same time.  I’ve dropped my resume off at a few temp agencies, and I’m writing out some cover letters to go with the additional copies I’m dropping off tomorrow and Friday. The agencies have been positive, but most have told me point blank that there is little or no money for temps in the workplace right now. They are hopeful that it will start looking better at the end of the month, but right now, not a lot going on…at least, I’m lucky that I don’t need to get a job immediately, but I can see how constantly looking and not getting a job starts to get very, very frustrating. As it is, I am exhausted–although happy that I managed to climb at least a wall or two this week!